Open Communication

Open and Objective Communication between Husband and Wife

It is told time and again that one of the keys to successful married life is open and objective communication between husband and wife.

But many people doubt if it is truly possible in real life though it looks good on paper.

To dispel their doubt, it needs to be emphasized that it is possible but for that both husband and wife have to put some efforts to make it happen; it's not automatic. It does not happen on its own.

To accomplish meaningful communication between husband and wife, it is necessary to adhere to the following tips (not in any particular order):

•Treat the other person as an individual, you do not possess him/her.
•Both are at par; you are neither other's boss nor subordinate. You are life partners.
•Give respect to each other.
•Remember that each person is a bundle of qualities and defects. So look at other's qualities and let the defects not hover on you.
•Listen intently.
•Speak politely.
•Do not react immediately to what the other person just spoke. Think and then respond appropriately. Try to understand what the other is saying and then pause and then respond.
•Do not nitpick.
•Do not show tantrums.
•Do not personalize the issues; stay on a subject.
•Do not get angry if the other person is saying something that you do not agree or do not like.
•If you do not agree or do not like what the other is saying, tell the other person politely about it.
•Be ready to accept what is more correct or more appropriate and be flexible to implement it.
•Once you agree about the outcome of the communication, implement what was agreed upon.
•Update your own knowledge on the subject being discussed. If you are ignorant or know less, listen to the person who has better knowledge.
•Show flexibility in action, shed stubborn behavior.
•Learn to compromise on the points where the agreement or consensus has not reached. Marriage is not a win-lose or lose-win game. No one loses, no one wins. Both have to win, the family has to win.
•At times, give in on matters of low importance. You do not become any less in doing so.
•Keep your egos in abeyance while communicating with each other.
•Demonstrate your affection and care to each other while communicating.
•Collaborate and do not compete. Communication is not the exchange or show-off of your wits.
•Do not play psychological games with each other. Be genuine to each other.
•There should never be any ulterior motives or hidden agendas in communication between husband and wife.
•Keep the family objectives upper most.
•If you have not been able to resolve an issue in the first bout of communication, decide upon another time for another communication session. Then communicate again with open mind and more information on the topic on the new date and time.
•Hug and kiss and make up for any slips in communication.