Interpersonal Relations in Family

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Interpersonal Relations among Family Members

Types of Interpersonal Behavior

Type 1 •Invites respect and compliance when you manage, direct, advice, teach and lead
Type2 •Invites acceptance and trust when you help, support, sympathize and empathize
Type 3 •Invites help and tenderness when you agree and act in friendly manner
Type 4 •Invites advice and help when you seek help, trust, admire and respect
Type 5 •Invites arrogance and superiority when you act shyly, modestly, dutifully, sensitively and obediently
Type 6 •Invites punishment and rejection when you rebel, protest, be undisciplined, be skeptical
Type 7 •Invites hostility and resistance when you attack, punish and be unkind
Type 8 •Invites distrust and inferiority when you exploit, show-off, reject and boast

First four behavior patterns will support healthy interpersonal relationships.

Pre-requisites for Better Interpersonal Relations

• Respectful mutual communication
• Win-win relationships
• Improving balance in others' emotional bank account
• Non-exploitative mutual transactions
• No ulterior motives
• Mutual trust
• Cooperation and support
• Genuine praise to each other
• Be of benefit to each other
• Take genuine interest in each other

Improve Your Score on Emotional Bank Balance for Better Interpersonal Relations

• Interpersonal relations flourish when you open an emotional bank account with the other person and make emotional deposits into it. Your emotional deposits build up the trust level with the other person and then, he likes to maintain relationship with you.
• More the emotional deposits made by you with the other person, more safe will he feel with you. It is a measure of trust and therefore, safeness into a relationship.
• You can build up your emotional bank balance with the other person by developing understanding with him, showing courtesy and care, attending to his small and big needs, keeping up the promises made, maintaining personal integrity etc.
• Once your reserve or balance is high, even if you make a withdrawal by doing the acts opposite to what have been described in the earlier point, the other person will not mind it that much and will be willing to continue the relationship in the same smooth manner.
• With high deposits and balance, your communication, even if it is less than perfect, is very well understood by the other person in the right spirit. Thus, interpersonal communication becomes simpler and easier.
• You can easily withdraw from your emotional bank deposit when you show disrespect, behave discourteously, play superior etc. As this balance depletes, the trust level goes down and the quality of interpersonal relationship decreases.

Husband-Wife Relationship: Life Long Relationship

Starting, maintaining and improving relationships are the most important aspects of one's life. There are lots of relationships like husband and wife, boy and girl about to marry, parents and children, between siblings etc. Among all of them, the husband-wife relationship is a very unique and life long relationship. Therefore, we are going to concentrate on the following types of relationships:

•Relationship between husband and wife
•Relationship between a boy and a girl deciding to marry
Let us look at the most important factors that are conducive to maintain and strengthen these relationships.

Most Important Aspects in These Relationships

•The husband-wife (already married or having decided to marry) is the most beautiful relationship.
•Nurture it carefully.
•Do not permit any one else (who so ever he or she or they may be) to create a crevice (rift) in it.
•Develop mutual respect.
•Develop mutual trust.
•Communicate, communicate and communicate with each other on whole lots of things.
•Practice respectful communication (do not confuse it by being submissive).
•Never ever use foul, un-civil language or four letter words while communicating and addressing each other.
•Maintain equal status relationship.
•Do not exert one-upmanship (or one-upwomanship) on the other.
•It's not competition; it's pure companionship all the way.
•Develop mutual consideration and caring: demonstrate by communicating and in actions.
•Support and care for each other in trying (difficult) times (sickness, loss of job or any other such happenings) more particularly.
•Be genuine with each other; do not pretend or fake.
•Find qualities in each other and not faults (and not keep correcting the faults in the other).
•Frequently, demonstratively, appreciate or admire those qualities.
•Develop love and affection: also, demonstrate frequently by hugging, kissing and holding each others' hands for no reason, every now and then.
•Develop friendship and so, carry out open friendly communication on whole lot of matters under the sun.
•Give each other some private space.
•Don't keep nagging the other; it can get on other's nerves.
•Mutually satisfying physical relationship is important. It requires full participation from both the partners. It needs to be learnt and practiced and then needs to be re-invented (This is strictly applicable only to already married couples. It is strictly "No" for yet to marry couples).

To Love Your Child, Love Each Other

To Love Your Child, Love Each Other: You Have No Escape From Loving Each Other

A child wants wholesome love from both the parents for growing into a normal adult and human being. He wants love from his father. He wants love from his mother. He wants love from them together as a parental unit or a parental entity. He wants love in home.

If his parents do not love each other, the child will never be able to get a sense of living in a complete home. Something is missing somewhere, in home, for him. He will never be able to sense of love from them together as a parental entity. For him, love from parents as one single unified entity is missing. He will never grow normally.

When husband and wife love each other, it produces a kind of synergistic love in home and that the child enjoys, it is very healthy for him. That is many times more than when only mother showers her love on him or only father showers his love on him in their separate ways.

So, there is no escape from loving each other since you already love your child so much. Love each other Mr husband and Mrs wife, you don't lose anything in love. Love does not need financing or rocket science or strategic management. Then, love only multiplies.

Open Communication

Open and Objective Communication between Husband and Wife

It is told time and again that one of the keys to successful married life is open and objective communication between husband and wife.

But many people doubt if it is truly possible in real life though it looks good on paper.

To dispel their doubt, it needs to be emphasized that it is possible but for that both husband and wife have to put some efforts to make it happen; it's not automatic. It does not happen on its own.

To accomplish meaningful communication between husband and wife, it is necessary to adhere to the following tips (not in any particular order):

•Treat the other person as an individual, you do not possess him/her.
•Both are at par; you are neither other's boss nor subordinate. You are life partners.
•Give respect to each other.
•Remember that each person is a bundle of qualities and defects. So look at other's qualities and let the defects not hover on you.
•Listen intently.
•Speak politely.
•Do not react immediately to what the other person just spoke. Think and then respond appropriately. Try to understand what the other is saying and then pause and then respond.
•Do not nitpick.
•Do not show tantrums.
•Do not personalize the issues; stay on a subject.
•Do not get angry if the other person is saying something that you do not agree or do not like.
•If you do not agree or do not like what the other is saying, tell the other person politely about it.
•Be ready to accept what is more correct or more appropriate and be flexible to implement it.
•Once you agree about the outcome of the communication, implement what was agreed upon.
•Update your own knowledge on the subject being discussed. If you are ignorant or know less, listen to the person who has better knowledge.
•Show flexibility in action, shed stubborn behavior.
•Learn to compromise on the points where the agreement or consensus has not reached. Marriage is not a win-lose or lose-win game. No one loses, no one wins. Both have to win, the family has to win.
•At times, give in on matters of low importance. You do not become any less in doing so.
•Keep your egos in abeyance while communicating with each other.
•Demonstrate your affection and care to each other while communicating.
•Collaborate and do not compete. Communication is not the exchange or show-off of your wits.
•Do not play psychological games with each other. Be genuine to each other.
•There should never be any ulterior motives or hidden agendas in communication between husband and wife.
•Keep the family objectives upper most.
•If you have not been able to resolve an issue in the first bout of communication, decide upon another time for another communication session. Then communicate again with open mind and more information on the topic on the new date and time.
•Hug and kiss and make up for any slips in communication.